Founded shortly after the breakup of Charlemaigns Holy Roman Empire, the Principality of Kesmidia occupies a small part of Europe, close to the combined borders of Germany, France, and Switzerland. Slightly larger, but less famous than the Dutchy of Gran Fenwick, Kesmidia has since its founding, eaked out it's existance on its two main exports, fine wool, and beer. It occupies no stratiegic areas, and has no worthwile exploitable resources, and a fairly small, rather content population. It has produced no notable statesmen, diplomats, authors, artists, historians, soldiers, or much of anything, except wool and beer. At these two things, they excell.
The wool trade has brought them a steady income, if not a spectacular one. But with the lack of internal strife, and the steadiness of her rulers, Kesmidia is suprisingly well off inancialy. The four largest founding liniages have amassed fortunes that rival the total assets of many other moderate sized nations in Europe. Living modestly, they had little use for most of their cash. A small, obscure nation, some 19th century travelogue writers condiered it a bucholic eden.
This however changed in 1901 when Prince Alanzo the clumsy fell to his death from the balcony of the Paris bordello that he frequented when he visited his cousins there. This left Prince Dimly the feeble in charge. Dimly lived up to his name, he had absolutely no idea of what was going on in the world around him most of the time. Visiting his cousin in Paris during 1916, he had to ask what all the commotion was about. Upon learning of the war in progress, he was heard to comment, "Oh, that must be what all that noise near the border is all about!"
It was here that Prince Dimly saw his first aeroplane, and managed to cage a ride in a Maurice Farman short horn. It was all the pilot of the aircraft could do to keep the prince in his seat. In the airman's own words, "Merde! The idiot was bouncing around the cockpit like some drunken
spaniel in the back of a wagon!"
The Prince decided then and there that he must be a pilot. But he was washed out of the French Air Corp after ground looping four sucessive Bleriot penguins. Undaunted, the Prince ordered several aircraft and had them delivered to Kesmidia. With this formidible force of Bleriots, urtis pushers, and other crates already deemed obsolete by the billegerants, he set about forming the Kesmidia Air Armada. Attempts to build derrigibles were thwarted by the choice of wool to form the hydrogen bladders and skin. The ash and oak didn't help either, nor did the choice of hot air for lift fueled by sheep dung.
In short order, the entire country went mad for aeroplanes. Every one began to spend their hoarded cash on the new fangled machines. This mania might have been short lived, had it not been for the marrage of Prince Dimly to Amanda, the robust daughter of a major sheep farmer. Princess Amanda, pretty and well loved truly wore out Prince Dimly. He died in her arms with a very contented smile on his face.
This left a power vacuum. All four of the Dukes had equaly valid claims to the throne. (Remember, I said that it was a small country...) None was ready to concede the throne to the others. With their own "army" armed with state of the art Remington rolling block rifles, sold to them by an American trader named Ralph Jones in 1887, and their massive aerial fleets of Be2c,
Avro 504, Caluldron, and other assorted aerial nightmares, the war for sucession was launched. The vaunted 1000 man army split along regional lines, and marched to and fro, seldom meeting the enemy. When they did, they usualy recognized relitives and friends and had a celebration insted.
The air war raged on, without much concern as to what happened on the ground, for a period of two months. Their stocks of ammunition expended, and most of the planes damaged in landing accidents, the war degnerated into a stalemate. The four countries growled at each other over their borders. Or at least the ruling famalies did. The common folk continued to lead their lives in much the same way that they always had.
The Prince died in August of 1918, and then the Great War ended. Suddenly, first rate combat aircraft were available cheap, ditto for ammo. With the influx of single seat scouts, and plentiful ammo, they actualy began to score hits on each other. After the first dozen fatalities, the ruling families decided that you could easily get killed in a shooting war.
Then they hit upon the, for them, novel idea of hiring experienced pilots to fly their machines and prosicute their claims to the throne. From all over the globe, dozens of pilots came, lured by the promise of superb pay and cheap beer. The only part they found true was the part about the beer.
Most of the pilots had fallen in love with flying, and the thrill of battle. Something that would be in short supply after this War to End All Wars...
To keep their addiction to adreneline fed, they developed a code of ethics quite appart from their employer's agenda. They would fly and fight, but they wouldn't "Win" the war for any faction. To do so, would kill the goose that layed the golden brew.
During the 1920s, the war continued unabated, and as the supply of Nieuports, and Pups, Albatrosses and Pfalzes dried up, they began to manufacture some of the best ones localy. Sopwith tried to stop them, but their legal representive got lost and wound up in Gran Fenwick insted, much to their confusion. They molified him with several cases of wine and sent him back to England.
The storm clouds of war gathered once more in Europe and unleashed their fury. The war of sucession went on hold as most of the experienced pilots returned to their homelands to fight.
Actually, Kesmidia was saved from invasion by Nazi forces by the sheer good fortune of a clerk dropping a cigarette upon the orders for invasion. They were destroyed before he had the thought of dousing them with the beer he had been drinking. Fearing what would happen, he disposed of the original orders, and forged a set of papers declaring that Kesmidia posed no threat to the Reich and could wait till the conquest of Europe was done.
Twice Luftwaffe training flights encountered mixed patrols of SPADs and Fokkers, and retreated, not beleiving what they saw. The Kesmidians, astounded by these new aircraft set about learning about them.
After the end of hostilities, the cycle began anew, but with the latest and greatest aircraft available. The battle continues to this day with the same aircraft, as they decided that jets were just too fast and expensive for them. A breif moment of sanity in an otherwise insane situation.
THE COUNTRIES OF KESMIDIA
Aleburg, ruled by the Duke of Aleburg, Heinelkin VII.
Beervaria, ruled by Duke Miller of Beervaria.
Cervazania, ruled by Duke Estaban Carlos de la Carona XX This one requires the explanation that one of the current Duke's ancestors sailed as a cabin boy aboard the Nina, and fell in love with Spanish culture, transplanting it back to Kesmidia upon his return.
Nutzelvania, a curious country within Kesmidia, most are non drinkers. Nutzelvanians pride themselves upon their herbal teas and goat cheese. This makes them targets for all right thinking Kesmidians. It is ruled by Duke/Dutchess Marvin/Marveenia, an individual uncertain if he is a man or a woman, and obcessed with a movie he/she saw once about a sweet transvestite and his creation. Court life there is somewhat unusual to say the least.
In another moment of sanity between them, the four decided that the Air War would be prosicuted in a remote corner of Kesmidia, in order to spare the populace the inconviences of actualy being killed in large numbers by the deadly new toys at their disposal.
Thus was born the current state of affairs....
As Written By Brian "Spandau" Nolan
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